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TIPS FOR THE ASTRO-VIRGIN
by Jessica Murray
February 2005
Both skeptics and masters in the field will agree: astrology is
not an exact science. It is a fluid, subtle symbolic system with interpretive
results as varied as those who practice it. In the ancient world, when there
was less distinction made between art and science, and none at all made between
science and religion, astrology was considered a philosophical art form.
And there is an art to going to an astrologer. It isn't
like signing up for a workshop or going to a lecture, where you just sit
there and listen to information that could apply to anybody.
Astrology is an uncharted sea of misconceptions for most people.
Not only do they not know what astrology is, but they don't realize that
they don't know. This article is an attempt to rectify the situation.
It addresses some frequently asked questions, some not-frequently-enough-asked
questions, and some questions which, from your astrologer's point of view,
are asked altogether too frequently.
Consciousness raising
An appointment with an astrologer should be an investment in having
your mind blown. It is meant to be a consciousness-raising dialogue, and
you will find that it is a uniquely intimate one. You'll be sitting with
someone who sees your inner complexities and your core potential. Though
your astrologer cannot see how you express all this -- the chart shows it
only in raw, abstract terms -- she or he will be able to see a lot about
your inner self, which constitutes a rather daunting set of data.
Good astrologers are aware of the care and respect that should surround this
information, and an informed client should be aware of it too.
It is a point of faith with spiritual seekers that one is drawn
to just the right teachers at the just the right time. To believe this is
to expect that you will be drawn to the appropriate astrologer when you are
ready. But it will greatly enhance the experience if you come in with your
eyes open.
Especially for those new to the mystical healing circuit, it's
a good idea before setting up the appointment to have a sense of what an
astrologer can and cannot do. You will avoid disappointment by dispelling
expectations you might not have even known you had. And you will get more
information for your time and money spent.
How do I find an astrologer?
Downloading a computer-generated chart and its interpretation
is easy and inexpensive. But even the best program cannot feel out and synthesize
the meaning of your birth chart the way a real astrologer can.
The best way to find any service practitioner is word-of-mouth.
Otherwise, look at ads on the web or in a magazine related to psychic arts,
and apply the same criteria you would use looking for a therapist. Check
out several websites and see what inspires you. Call the person up and get
a feel for them. Do they speak in a way you can understand, and do they seem
intelligent? Sensitive? Professional? How long have they been in practice?
Do they have the kind of background that might indicate a worldview compatible
with your own?
What can an astrologer tell me?
An astrologer can give you a nonjudgmental overview of who you
are (natal reading) and what is happening to you at the time (transits
and progressions). He can translate to you what the chart says your
soul is trying to learn -- in this lifetime in general, and right now.
Should I come in with questions?
It is always a good idea to have questions, so long as you understand
that the questions you come in with are not always what your deeper self
really wants to know. Your astrologer will be able to see what your chart's
questions are, which may or may not line up with what you were going to ask.
She will see, for instance, what really motivates a job change that you may
assume is a financial move. She might see a karmicly-ordained emotional shift,
which would be occurring no matter where you were working and no matter how
much money you were making.
And sometimes what you are asking will line up quite predictably
with the hot spots in your chart. Before addressing your questions, your
astrologer may re-frame them in terms of the big picture of your life.
Does my chart tell about other people in my life?
Say you come in worried about your mother. It is likely that your
chart will reveal a complex of factors that point to the maternal relationship.
From them, your astrologer will be able to infer the meaning, for you, of
your mother's activities and issues -- that is, what they symbolize in your
life. This is not the same as describing what your mother is specifically
doing and thinking.
That said, certain practitioners, most notably clairvoyants, do
specialize in the kind of sight that receives pictures about what your mother
is doing and thinking. And most astrologers, too, possess a degree of psychic
sensitivity that informs their readings to one extent of another. But the
chart itself does not describe your mother. It only describes your perception
of your mother. It is axiomatic in metaphysics, no less than in the New
Physics, that there is no such thing as an objective, absolute truth about
anyone or anything. Reality exists only as relative to the observer (called
in some divinatory practices the querent).
Your astrologer's focus is upon what your Higher Self needs you
to know about the changes you're going through, and about other people entering
your life who reflect those changes. You may come into the reading wondering
what's going on with your best friend, and leave the reading with a new understanding
of what your best friend's soul is here to teach your soul.
Likewise, if you ask your astrologer for a chart comparison between
yourself and a new love interest, what you will get is a general picture
of the two personalities and their soul intentions. Astrology can be very
useful in comparing and contrasting one chart's needs (Moon) with another's;
one chart's communication style (Mercury) with another's. It will allow you
to see how the two modus operandi (Mars) compare; how the belief systems
compare (Jupiter); and so on. There is a tremendous amount of information
there. Indeed, making selective choices as to what to include in your session
is one of the challenges your astrologer faces.
What should I tell my astrologer?
Your astrologer sees what is up for you by looking at your chart.
He doesn't need to hear your description of your new boyfriend, though he
may ask you certain key questions (it is not a guessing game, remember; you
are here to get perspective, not to watch a magic show). Your time would
be better spent listening to him talk about the boyfriend, in the archetypal
terms of astrology.
Your astrologer will welcome any questions you may have that haven't
been addressed, as well as requests to go back over something you did not
understand. But whatever the subject of your reading, you will learn more
if you just listen. You will be relieved, later, that you avoided the classic
astro-virgin scenario of going home to listen to your tape only to hear mostly
your own voice, saying things you already know.
What if I get confused?
Remember that the tape of your session is ideally going to be
something you listen to over and over again, and it will take on new meaning
each time. You are not expected to get it all on the first hearing. Your
reading will contain many layers of information, the implications of which
extend well beyond the particulars at the time of your visit.
Naturally, what you are most concerned with is what is happening
right now; but your astrologer is focused on why it's happening.
It's sort of an apples-and-oranges difference. Keep in mind that your astrologer's
bigger picture includes -- but does not confine itself to -- the meaning
of what's happening in your world at the moment, so it has more information
in it. Thus it would be to your benefit to follow where she is leading the
discussion. When you allow her to re-frame your concerns in terms of your
chart's lifelong themes, they will make sense not only right now but when
you listen to your tape ten years from now.
At the same time, it is perfectly permissible, and often quite
welcome, for the client to reel the practitioner in if her rap is looping
out into the esoteric stratosphere and you're getting lost. At any juncture
you may ask her to sum up the last paragraph, to repeat the main point, or
to rephrase what she is trying to say.
Can my astrologer tell if my relationship is the
real thing?
If you are having a chart comparison done, you will of course
be itching to ask whether the relationship with your new boyfriend will work.
You can ask, but beware of any astrologer who gives you a definitive Yes
or No.
If we agree that the goal of a reading is self-understanding,
we would have to agree that you'd get nothing out of a black-and-white answer
like that, even if your astrologer could give you one. But in truth he cannot,
because the chart shows only potentials: its scenarios are multiple, mutable
and totally up to you. The Ultimate Rule of Metaphysics, we-create-our-own-reality,
prevails in relationships as everywhere; though it may be harder to
accept where other people are involved.
Your love interests are reflections of your own psyche, even as
in a dream every character is a version of the dreamer. This is what makes
relationship astrology so educational. After the reading you may see not
just your new relationship, but your whole relationship history, with new
eyes.
Consider that we each carry around a certain definition of what
a good (or "real") relationship is, which we vaguely imagine to be a universal
constant. Part of what we want (or think we want) comes from our unique set
of criteria, part of it comes from our culture. But astrology relies on very
different assumptions. An astrologer's take on relationships is based on
the principles of metaphysics, not on social or psychological notions of
what constitutes health, happiness or normalcy. From your astrologer's point
of view, why you and your boyfriend came together may have nothing to do
with your conscious choices, nor with your society's (or your age group's
or your family's) definition of a successful relationship.
Astrology posits that people connect in order to mirror back
insights about the self that the self cannot see alone.
Does astrology say whether the relationship will last?
What a chart comparison will reveal, most likely, are some natural
compatibilities as well as some potential conflicts. An astrologer can enumerate
and explain these, putting into words distinctions and underlying themes
you may have been intuitively aware of, but didn't have words for. Whether
or not you choose to work on the conflicts, of course, is not in the charts.
But forewarned is forearmed, and you will find it useful to have your relationship
patterns isolated and named. That way you'll know what's underneath otherwise-confusing
dynamics. Knowing this will allow you to choose with far more clarity what
you want to do.
But please do not ask your astrologer "What signs am I compatible
with?" It will make him whimper softly and begin to dream about a desk
job somewhere.
Will my astrologer give me advice?
Like good psychotherapists, good astrologers refrain from telling
you what to do. They traffic in self-understanding, not advice. And they
will not tell you what will happen. They cannot, because of the wild card
in all this: free choice, which has
been on the increase since the Age of Reason. This is the good news. The
more we see ourselves as individuals and as masters of our own fate, the
harder it is to predict what will happen.
The astrological symbols and their placements merely indicate
trends in your chart, not specifics. The specifics are up to
you. And the more aware you are of your chart's fundamental purpose, the
more sublime and effective those specifics will be. This is to say that we
really do create our own reality.
It is too bad that this premise has become a New Age cliché,
and the deal-breaker for many would-be metaphysical thinkers. As a concept,
it is resented, misused and half-understood. But astrology would not work
if it were not so.
What if I don't like what my astrologer is saying?
If you're not sure how much of what she's saying applies, just
go with the old "if the shoes fits, wear it" rule. You'll be taking the tape
home, and you may get more out of it the next time you hear it.
Remember, too, what spiritual teachers say about such discomfort:
often when we hear something new about ourselves, it throws us out of our
comfort zone, which is actually a good sign. If you are ambivalent about
some of the things in your reading, it could be just growing pains.
Our egos tend to get disturbed when faced with heretofore-unconscious information.
But it is not the ego that gets us to grow and change. That is the
job of the Higher Self.
And it is your Higher Self that your astrologer is there
to validate. She is not there to validate your self-image. Her job is to
explain what your chart says about your life purpose: a set of pure potentials.
Your self-image is your own business.
It's a lot of information, but that's all it is: information.
And there is no quiz at the end.
Forget what you think you know about astrology
Unfortunately, astrology's bad press is more than enough to make
a new client wary. Astrology is often misconstrued as a caricaturish personality-typing
system that seeks to stereotype people one way or another. Newcomers may
worry that they must defend their view of themselves against that of a stranger
who claims to have an inside scoop -- reductionistic but somehow magically
authoritative -- on who they are.
The first misconception will be dispelled as soon as you are introduced
to the astounding subtlety and complexity of your own chart. As to the fear
that astrology wants to make people out to be who they are not, the truth
is just the opposite. Your astrologer's goal is to get you in touch with
your essence; so that you can go forth and express that essence however you
want.
It may be that because the information involved is so profound,
and the experience of hearing it is sometimes so unexpected, that a client
who usually doesn't take things personally may do so in the case of an astrological
reading. But you will get the most out of the session by remembering that
your astrologer is a professional you have hired to read your chart: he is
not your best friend, your parent, or your judge. He does not need you to
agree with his interpretation. He respects you as the master of your chart.
Your chart as mirror
Your chart is a mirror of who you are. You are far more familiar
with its contents than your astrologer is; it's just that she sees it from
a distanced point of view, and is not caught up in its stories. The beauty
of going to an astrologer is in having someone who does not know you from
Adam describing, from a dispassionate perspective, your likes and needs;
your motivations, comforts and discomforts, your ideological struggles and
intensities and fears, your talents and aspirations; your purpose in having
been born into this particular epoch and place.
Nothing you don't already know. If you are paying attention.
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